OK.. I should really write a nice long blog immediately after the round so I can remember the highlights.. but here's Lemur, almost 2 weeks later trying to remember the round.. I can't remember much.. but here's some random thoughts.
1. Got Wind renamed Harry Putter !.. Thanks to the black attire and the cool rain hat.
2. Alice in a bit of a hurry. Is on the 3rd tee while his own group is still on the 1st green !.
3. Crack phones up Alice coz there's a bit of rain hoping the game is cancelled.
4. It wasn't.. and it p^&*ed down for most of the round.
5. Group 1 finished 50 minutes before group 2 , and Crack and Alice disappear before they have to pay up .
6. Gazebo has a good start, he can find his ball for his second shot, unfortunately not the third.
7. Has Geary got a name yet??
8. Crack asks for a rain check in the club house after 9 holes.. He's such a WUSS!
9. Dagenator has quite a good round.
10. Grand-par has to wait 50 minutes at the end of his round for a ride home.
Thanks for the memories.. Am surprised I remembered 10 !!
June 20th – Les Quatre Domaines
Dagenator blogs like a pro (wrestler)...
Finally, Lemur takes a week off! The TGA stalwarts who DID show up this week were Alice, Dagenator, Papa Hicks and the newly-christened 'Stiffy' (Carveth, making his first appearance of the season.)
The West Island Express got the suburbanites to the course with plenty of time for driving range and chipping/putting and as usual, Dagenator pulled up in the rear, applauding the last of their mighty and (somewhat wayward) swings. Stiffy did offer him a few balls but seeing as how his balls weren't exactly straight, Dagenator demurred, not wanting to catch anything.
But it was all for naught, as the first drive of the day saw Dagenator's tee shot sail high, and fading left, left, left… thud! Saved by the tree.
With Lemur away, the curse ratio dropped significantly – but that could be also a factor of some of the boys playing some very solid golf, and let's face it, Papa Hicks is way too much of a gentleman; Stiffy in particular was playing like a man who has spent the off-season actively forgetting all his bad habits, and not having had time to discover his new ones. Be patient, grasshopper; they'll be back.
Dagenator put in a solid front 5 until Alice's (evil bastard) swing thought caught up to him: "you know, that's a really good drive you got going – it'll work well until you start duck hooking them later on". After that, it was random drive time again, crowned by the 16th tee where the group watched his first 'drive' rifle forward 30 yards (well, partly forward) then carom backwards, over their heads, and into the forest behind the tee box. The image of Stiffy cringing on the ground, hands over his head, and asking for his Mommy can be credited for keeping Dagenator's curse count down and his spirits up.
Alice for his part lived up to his name, tripping over his mangina with disturbing regularity - this was very helpful for those others (other?) in the birdie competition (the only birdie being scored by Stiffy, on his namesake hole). And in the spirit of curse reduction, he was heard on several occasions to utter the dreaded and obscene "fudge, fudge" (wash that man's mouth out!). But still, even scoring a snowman on the cursed 9th hole, Alice managed a respectable 88, so he doesn't have much to complain about. And Papa Hicks shot an exceptional 98, breaking 100 for the first time this year; this is especially impressive considering he dropped two into the drink off the tee on the closing hole.
On to Victorien, young sirs!
Finally, Lemur takes a week off! The TGA stalwarts who DID show up this week were Alice, Dagenator, Papa Hicks and the newly-christened 'Stiffy' (Carveth, making his first appearance of the season.)
The West Island Express got the suburbanites to the course with plenty of time for driving range and chipping/putting and as usual, Dagenator pulled up in the rear, applauding the last of their mighty and (somewhat wayward) swings. Stiffy did offer him a few balls but seeing as how his balls weren't exactly straight, Dagenator demurred, not wanting to catch anything.
But it was all for naught, as the first drive of the day saw Dagenator's tee shot sail high, and fading left, left, left… thud! Saved by the tree.
With Lemur away, the curse ratio dropped significantly – but that could be also a factor of some of the boys playing some very solid golf, and let's face it, Papa Hicks is way too much of a gentleman; Stiffy in particular was playing like a man who has spent the off-season actively forgetting all his bad habits, and not having had time to discover his new ones. Be patient, grasshopper; they'll be back.
Dagenator put in a solid front 5 until Alice's (evil bastard) swing thought caught up to him: "you know, that's a really good drive you got going – it'll work well until you start duck hooking them later on". After that, it was random drive time again, crowned by the 16th tee where the group watched his first 'drive' rifle forward 30 yards (well, partly forward) then carom backwards, over their heads, and into the forest behind the tee box. The image of Stiffy cringing on the ground, hands over his head, and asking for his Mommy can be credited for keeping Dagenator's curse count down and his spirits up.
Alice for his part lived up to his name, tripping over his mangina with disturbing regularity - this was very helpful for those others (other?) in the birdie competition (the only birdie being scored by Stiffy, on his namesake hole). And in the spirit of curse reduction, he was heard on several occasions to utter the dreaded and obscene "fudge, fudge" (wash that man's mouth out!). But still, even scoring a snowman on the cursed 9th hole, Alice managed a respectable 88, so he doesn't have much to complain about. And Papa Hicks shot an exceptional 98, breaking 100 for the first time this year; this is especially impressive considering he dropped two into the drink off the tee on the closing hole.
On to Victorien, young sirs!
TGA Tour Naming Guide
Mr Carveth recently enquired as to how TGA Tour players receive their names. So we (the TGA Tour Management committee), thought it would be useful to publish a guide on TGA Tour Naming convention.
Step 1 - TGA Tour player is identified in having a unique feature (e.g. Papa Hicks looking like Taylor Hicks of American idol fame) or named as a result of some unique escapade on the golf course (see Roofer, Lemur or Gazebo for details), or something as simple as a discussion point on the way to the golf course about the state of the drivers windscreen (wonder if Crack has had his crack filled yet?).
Step 1.5 - The player themselves promotes a name , only to be rejected, and some twisted version of the same suggested (e.g. Carveth suggesting his name be "Pinseeker" or something equally lame).
Step 2 - One of the committee members raises the twisted version or other antics to other members of the committee (in this case, Alice discussing with Lemur and Dagenator), and then the name is confirmed.
Step 3 - The member is advised of their new name... in this case.. Mr Carveth... (kneeling).., thanks to thy dead aim at the hole with your balls, and your shaft swinging true, and the ball even nuzzling itself against the pole you were aiming at.. you are hereby named.... " Stiffy " . Go forth and play well young sir.
Step 1 - TGA Tour player is identified in having a unique feature (e.g. Papa Hicks looking like Taylor Hicks of American idol fame) or named as a result of some unique escapade on the golf course (see Roofer, Lemur or Gazebo for details), or something as simple as a discussion point on the way to the golf course about the state of the drivers windscreen (wonder if Crack has had his crack filled yet?).
Step 1.5 - The player themselves promotes a name , only to be rejected, and some twisted version of the same suggested (e.g. Carveth suggesting his name be "Pinseeker" or something equally lame).
Step 2 - One of the committee members raises the twisted version or other antics to other members of the committee (in this case, Alice discussing with Lemur and Dagenator), and then the name is confirmed.
Step 3 - The member is advised of their new name... in this case.. Mr Carveth... (kneeling).., thanks to thy dead aim at the hole with your balls, and your shaft swinging true, and the ball even nuzzling itself against the pole you were aiming at.. you are hereby named.... " Stiffy " . Go forth and play well young sir.
June 13th - Metropolitain
OK.. its a new week.. and a new attitiude (well.. for Lemur anyway).
Got Wind, Dagenator, Lemur and Blair (yet to be named... or maybe not !) invetigate a potential new course for the TGA Tour.
Blair didnt see the first two holes.. bit late getting out of bed..rushes to the third green to meet the chaps.. GW tells him its an 8 iron.. Blair rushes to tee box.. hits 8 iron WAY over the green. GW feels slightly guilty that he should have told him we were playing from the blue tees this morning.. OOPS !
Lemur took a very good suggestion to limit the number of curses on the course to two. By the time the first hole was over .. they had both been used.. after a duff second shot resulted in a "Bollox!" shout, and then a practice pitch to the green had a "bag of shite" description of his own practice swing. Takes a 'swearing mulligan' for both, and then concentrates on not bloody swearing.. and worked.. mostly. Used his second official curse up on the 18th.
Dagenator has a good round.. ish.. and Got Winds trusty 3 iron sees a lot of action off the tee... unfortunately Dag left his putter at home this time, so the "now weekly" RIMMER award goes to him. Good work fella.
The course was .. .OK.. Good for the locals.. but if the west islanders (and further west) chaps are going that far.. has to be Ile De Montreal I'm afraid. On to next week !!..
Got Wind, Dagenator, Lemur and Blair (yet to be named... or maybe not !) invetigate a potential new course for the TGA Tour.
Blair didnt see the first two holes.. bit late getting out of bed..rushes to the third green to meet the chaps.. GW tells him its an 8 iron.. Blair rushes to tee box.. hits 8 iron WAY over the green. GW feels slightly guilty that he should have told him we were playing from the blue tees this morning.. OOPS !
Lemur took a very good suggestion to limit the number of curses on the course to two. By the time the first hole was over .. they had both been used.. after a duff second shot resulted in a "Bollox!" shout, and then a practice pitch to the green had a "bag of shite" description of his own practice swing. Takes a 'swearing mulligan' for both, and then concentrates on not bloody swearing.. and worked.. mostly. Used his second official curse up on the 18th.
Dagenator has a good round.. ish.. and Got Winds trusty 3 iron sees a lot of action off the tee... unfortunately Dag left his putter at home this time, so the "now weekly" RIMMER award goes to him. Good work fella.
The course was .. .OK.. Good for the locals.. but if the west islanders (and further west) chaps are going that far.. has to be Ile De Montreal I'm afraid. On to next week !!..
June 7th - The Falcon
I really hate writing a blog when i had a nightmare.. next time the guy who enjoys the day the most gets to write the blog so he can have a positive spin.. and not be all grumpy like wot I woz !
Crack, VFM, Alice, Dagenator, Lemur and ... errr.. who was the last one.. course is on his doorstep.. nice guy..drives a jeep... bit wayward off the tee.. chips one handed.. GAzebo !!.. how could I forget...
Anyway.. back to being grumpy.. everyone had a fun round apart from me.. 13th hole.. lost 2 Pro V1s, and made my five iron 18 inches shorter when i threw it to the floor in disgust... a harsh lesson...
My learnings from the round (its like writing lines at school)
1. I must have a better attitude.
2. I must stop swearing on the course so f%^&ing much
3. I must repair my five iron.
4. While i'm at it.. I must repair my electric cart.
5. I must not throw clubs up trees.
6. When I think about it.. I'm very embarrassed and should be reminded of the above on every future occassion to keep me chilled out.
Maybe then I'll break 90 in the right direction.. here endeth the lesson.
Crack, VFM, Alice, Dagenator, Lemur and ... errr.. who was the last one.. course is on his doorstep.. nice guy..drives a jeep... bit wayward off the tee.. chips one handed.. GAzebo !!.. how could I forget...
Anyway.. back to being grumpy.. everyone had a fun round apart from me.. 13th hole.. lost 2 Pro V1s, and made my five iron 18 inches shorter when i threw it to the floor in disgust... a harsh lesson...
My learnings from the round (its like writing lines at school)
1. I must have a better attitude.
2. I must stop swearing on the course so f%^&ing much
3. I must repair my five iron.
4. While i'm at it.. I must repair my electric cart.
5. I must not throw clubs up trees.
6. When I think about it.. I'm very embarrassed and should be reminded of the above on every future occassion to keep me chilled out.
Maybe then I'll break 90 in the right direction.. here endeth the lesson.
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