Ok golf fans.. its a double header weekend. Alice is out next weekend due to a trip to Jamaica, so he's keen to get extra golf in to cope with the famine-like conditions for golf over the next weekend. (poor chap).
Saturday !
So its Saturday morning at Belle Vue (Belle Vue course) and a bit of an early start. Alice, LT and Ankur (yet to be named) at Mc Donalds for a bit of early fuel... then off to Lery. Ank is designated driver in his luxury Chevy SUV, with Bob Marley offering directions to the course. I hope he's better than John Cleese!!. So the SUV has a unique safety feature. Ankur explains.. that the windscreen is pre-broken, so that when you're in an accident, you don't hurt yourself going through the windscreen as its already part way smashed. LT buys the idea, but Alice is suspicious , realising that stuck in the back seat, Its Ankur's head that needs to be pre-broken to ease the blow of his own 120km to zero in 1.2 seconds motion.
However !!.. it did eventually give Ank his pseudonym.. now to be known to all as 'Crack'.
Arrival at the course was a little early. LT opened the gates.. allowing the SUV into the grounds, allowing Crack to be scolded by a 112lb greenkeeper. Despite his robust stature, Crack was looking a little beaten after the encounter.
Dagenator (my apologies for omitting his reference to now).. travelled separately, and arrived when a golfer should arrive at the course.. soon enough to get some practice, but late enough so you can use LTs balls on the practice range.. (Yes.. they still hurt... woohoo!)
The golf was the driest so far. The course still suffering a little from the winter, but very playable. Hardly any puddles, and greens very receptive to the shot...err.. chip from the rough.
Highlights of the round....
Dagenator on the short par 4 5th.. dogleg left.. Should suit the fade he's developed.. unfortunately the dog leg is not a broken leg.. and loses it left big!!.. twice.. finds the first ball.. finds a gap through the trees.. makes a par..
LT on the 10th, after watching all the players tee off and go straight at the green, through the rough and past a tree.. decides NOT to play safe and follows their stupidity. All 4 balls are within 40 yards of the green, and is the only one to make par.
Crack... almost had his name changed to 'Rim' after burning countless putts past the hole, highlighted by the 14th with a 6 foot chance for birdie, rimming it again, and the poor chap needed counselling for the next few minutes.
Alice.. Has another blistering start with 3 pars in 3 holes.. What we really need now is a long par 5 and a wayward tee shot to bring him back dow... ah.. there it is.. Alice realises that the PGA tour will have to wait a while longer for his services... TGA tour for now..
A beer on the patio after the round, with the TGA Tour players wondering why they brought their rain gear, and Crack explaining to all that he wore shell suit bottoms to keep out the moisture, but also keep it in, and his legs are now as sweaty as if they'd been wrapped in plastic film.. hmmm.. nice thought to end the day on.. (trying not to chunder (hurl) as I write this).
Sunday !
So the TGA Tour arrives at the ile De Montreal Ireland course. Its a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. Alice is keen, turning up 3 hours early just to hit balls, and the St Lazarre contingent arrives in good time. Gazebo owes Alice some cash, so pays for his golf without telling him, only to find out that Alice has already paid for himself.. so.. FREE GOLF for Lord Taylor (woohoo!). Pelletier makes his first appearance of the year on tour, complete with a new driver, and the four determined hackers wander down the first telling Pelletier that 'its not the arrows.. its the Indian', but as long as he's happy.. so are we.
Now the first three holes at the Ireland course are known to be brutal, so LT and Alice are more than happy to get to the third green with a couple of bogey. LT is on the green in two and Alice is just off the green. Alice gets off the third with another bogey.. LT is still putting now, and limps off the hole having taken another 5 strokes to get the ball in the hole (it was a tough green.. honest!).. A brief exclaim to the heavens of his favourite stress relieving word (four letters.. rhymes with the last name of a famous British motor racing star of the 70's.. first name James)and he's brushed off his incident, and the short par 3 yields a feel-good par.
Gazebo is having fun.. His tee shot on the first was a thing of beauty, unfortunately she has an ugly sister that showed herself on the second.. oddly reappearing later in the round as she said hi to him again on the second hole of the back 9 !. Pelletier is having fun, having been told he should enjoy the course before the gorse grass grows for the year, St Lazarre's finest man decides he owes it to himself to visit all the hills on the first three holes. (We think he liked the view). Cleveland launcher comes good later in the round, and the fellow has his revenge on each of his comrades along the way.
Gazebo's driver starts to warm up, and a par at the 8th has the chap smiling. LT and Alice finish the front 9 with 40, with 3 birdies between them. LT wondering how something less that 5 putts could have helped that score !.
The 10th hole bites 3 of the golfers where it hurts, with Alice wondering what the hell was going on. Three buddies with lost balls in the rough out to the right, with 'mr Fade' in the middle of the fairway.
From there, Alice pressed home his advantage, Lord Taylor faltered, Gazebo found more of his drives going to the correct fairway, and Pelletier looked lovely at his new Cleveland Hi Bore and asked it if he could please give him a shot that was right.. on the 16th tee, it delivered, 160 yards forward uphill (and 50 yards.. à la droite)
Honours go to Alice for the day, although a birdie short of LT, had significantly less putts than he or Gazebo, collecting some loonies to spend on the beach next weekend...
Pelletiers naming will be given by democracy. The three nominations are....
1. Clouseau (searching for his balls in the grass required keen investigative techniques)
2. Monsieur la Droite (Mr Right, because he's such a fine chap, and nothing related to his drive direction)
3. Hi Bore (Because I like a driver that sounds like its a power drill.. and Robin's got one!)
your votes please !.
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