Thanks to everyone for a great extended weekend in the desert. Well done Michael for the hotel and golf coordination and thanks to Duncan for the game planning. Congratulations Glenn for taking the big prize despite nearly being killed by the shankasaurus. I'm glad you were able to take it because i was pretty freaked out at Wolf Creek...
I wanted to send everyone a couple of details about the final scores and the final round, so the details are below. Looking forward to seeing everyone over the next few months,
Norman
Name 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Total RoundRank RoundPoints Donald 0 2 2 3 1 3 2 3 1 2 3 0 2 1 2 1 3 1 32 1 18 Glenn 1 2 0 2 2 2 2 3 3 1 1 2 2 1 3 1 0 2 30 2 15 Duncan 1 2 3 2 2 0 1 1 2 1 1 1 4 1 2 3 1 1 29 3 12 Michael 2 2 2 0 1 3 2 2 1 1 1 2 2 1 2 2 2 1 29 3 12 Dave 1 3 3 0 2 0 1 3 1 2 1 1 2 1 1 3 1 2 28 5 9 Mark 2 3 0 0 3 2 1 0 0 3 2 0 0 2 2 4 0 2 26 6 8 Richard 2 2 1 2 2 0 1 2 0 3 1 2 2 2 0 2 0 1 25 7 7 Matt 0 2 2 2 2 2 1 2 0 3 2 1 0 2 1 1 0 1 24 8 6 Marty 3 2 0 0 1 1 2 0 2 0 2 1 0 2 3 1 2 0 22 9 5 Norman 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 10 4
Final Score with points by round
Sum of Points Column Labels Row Labels 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Grand Total Gazebo 2 10 2 12 8 10 5 5 15 69 Murseless 2 8 6 4 5 10 10 20 65 Lemur 4 10 4 5 3 4 8 10 12 60 Roofer 4 9 6 8 3 7 9 10 4 60 Snowflake 2 7 4 2 8 7 14 5 8 57 Papa Hicks 4 3 4 3 5 10 4 10 10 53 Truffle Dawg 2 7 6 7 8 7 3 12 52 3 Way Miss 4 4 2 6 5 4 12 5 6 48 Grande Banane 2 5 2 10 8 4 6 6 43 Grand Par 4 5 2 1 3 7 7 5 7 41 Grand Total 30 68 38 58 56 70 78 50 100 548
Slamma Skeet Repeat - Final day
Slamma Skeet Repeat -Day 2
Her are the headlines from a very eventful day 2 ....
LEMUR SHANK FLOORS GAZEBO !
Today's start of Day 2 at Wolf Creek is marred by an errant 9 iron from Lemur on the approach to the first green skulling off at 45 degrees towards the creek , over a small hill , and only briefly interrupted on its way to oblivion by the side of Gazebos face . Knocking him to the floor having thought that he'd been in a brief bar fight with Lennox Lewis , he's on the floor hoping that the strike has. It put him out of action ... in true trooper style that only Gazebo can muster , he goes on to par the hole .. and the next , and what can only be attributed to a 'reduction in the voices in there, his head suddenly finds calm waters , and goes on to WIN the morning tombstone competition. His upper cheek now sporting a welt , a positive side effect seems to be his taste bud memory . In a curious twist at lunch , he is then convinced the beer he has is "the best he's ever tasted" , the fish and chips follows suit , and he's now convinced that as his cheek injury is going to help him lose weight ! He's requested the same effect on his other cheek . Sadly, lemur declined the offer .
GRAND PAR STRIKES HOLE IN ONE!
The afternoon scramble hits a high note and Grand Par , sadly the first to be taken to the morgue in the morning tombstone , approaches the Par 3 third hole with two drive attempts at this difficult hole . Taking full advantage of his seniority , electing to play from the forward tees , his first shot is struck into the heart of the green . A good safe ball gladly taken by any team . But wait!!!. Grand Par has his second attempt . Under instruction from Lemur is requested to hit the ball further left . Hitting the same shot , he repeats the same , further left , and over the next 15 seconds listens to Lemur with support from a watching Snowflake shout the ball as it trickles towards the cup . In a moment frozen in time , Grand Par collects the adoration of his buddies as he pockets his SECOND ace on the TGA Tour.
GRANDE BANANE FINDS GAME
in what can only be described as a mind r miracle , GRAND BANANE , fabled lothario off the course , but 'ball flight challenged' on it finds inspiration on his first visit to wolf Creek and rockets up the leaderboard in what nanny are calling a 'Trump-esque' rise in the standings . Though insurmountable odds and without a single golf lesson , he's now 2nd in the leaderboard and trending towards a W at the Slamma . Some of his weaker competitors question his meteoric rise , and have demanded a sample to be tested . His reported response to that ? "Open wide!".
Tge leaderboard now as follows . The relatively benine pastures of Casablanca golf clubs give the golfers some respite , and allow them to keep their walmart purchases a little longer ..
Slamma Skeet Repeat 2017 - Day 1
An early start , but the young Spritely Slamma stars are ready to hit the links ... Lemur allows a small crack in his dictatorship regime to allow the individual game to occur in the morning as there's an expected slight breeze in the afternoon that may cause a few minor shot adjustments ...
The Arnokd Palmer course at Oasis is a gem and the previous Mesquite participants recall its beauty from 6 years ago . A minor stop at a plaque on the 6th hole to pay tribute to 'The King' and then more oos and aahs and AARGHs as the players finish their morning rounds . Some varying scores , with Lemur heading the pack after starting with a 76 yard drive . Grande Banane brings up the rear , which is what his roomie is used to.
The afternoon round starts with blue sky and still conditions until, the first hole . The breeze arrives , quickly followed by gusts, followed by gale , and topped off by essentially a sandstorm . Team Truff, Murse and Roofer take the Scramble win and a fine Mexican restaurant seats the 10 that eve , and Grand Par reassured us that red blood laced with alcohol CAN flow through those coarsing veins as he's tempted by the devil drink , otherwise known as Tequila , and joins in the carafes of margarita. Wolf Creek becons us for the next morning .. the jewel of Mesquite is ready to kick our arses and steal our money , but we will still be smiling thanks to gazebos stories from the poker table last night . I'm not sure whether I hope he's won or lost!? .. ok.. won .
The Arnokd Palmer course at Oasis is a gem and the previous Mesquite participants recall its beauty from 6 years ago . A minor stop at a plaque on the 6th hole to pay tribute to 'The King' and then more oos and aahs and AARGHs as the players finish their morning rounds . Some varying scores , with Lemur heading the pack after starting with a 76 yard drive . Grande Banane brings up the rear , which is what his roomie is used to.
The afternoon round starts with blue sky and still conditions until, the first hole . The breeze arrives , quickly followed by gusts, followed by gale , and topped off by essentially a sandstorm . Team Truff, Murse and Roofer take the Scramble win and a fine Mexican restaurant seats the 10 that eve , and Grand Par reassured us that red blood laced with alcohol CAN flow through those coarsing veins as he's tempted by the devil drink , otherwise known as Tequila , and joins in the carafes of margarita. Wolf Creek becons us for the next morning .. the jewel of Mesquite is ready to kick our arses and steal our money , but we will still be smiling thanks to gazebos stories from the poker table last night . I'm not sure whether I hope he's won or lost!? .. ok.. won .
Slamma Skeet Repeat 2017 - Day 0
The gathering of the clan ready to do battle .... Snowflake is already in town to greet the early arrivals , Pappa and GrandPar , and the players on board TGA-force One arrive soon after . Snowflake squeezes his two guys into his pigmy-sized SUV while the others relax in two custom made cruisers for the ride to Paiute Golf course for the opening round . A quick sweep back to the airport to pick up Grande Banane and Roofer , found at the side of the road under a blanket and we were on our way .
Greeted at the course by Larry , Gazebos new BFF and we were on to the course , Sun Mountain , for the opening round . Two teams , hand picked by Gazebo and Three Way Miss(?) , namely the Canes and Walkers ( due to expanding waistlines , receding hairlines , and a lack of muscular flexibility ) are then doing battle ... the winners , The Canes , drew first blood and then on to Mesquite , NV . Our battleground for the next 4 days .
Hotel checking was a bit of a mess , with the Casino hotel never handing a change of names in rooms before , but soon resolved . ( tag line for the hotel .. 'How Vegas Used to Be' ie .. before the internet and cigarette smoke filters )
Day 1 finished with dinner in the casino cafe .. with various representations of Chinese dishes that looked like they had been as close to China as Truffle Dawg has been to a swing coach... hand out of the gear in the room with the modelling initially by the fine form of Lemur.. Arnold's course awaits us in the AM.
Greeted at the course by Larry , Gazebos new BFF and we were on to the course , Sun Mountain , for the opening round . Two teams , hand picked by Gazebo and Three Way Miss(?) , namely the Canes and Walkers ( due to expanding waistlines , receding hairlines , and a lack of muscular flexibility ) are then doing battle ... the winners , The Canes , drew first blood and then on to Mesquite , NV . Our battleground for the next 4 days .
Hotel checking was a bit of a mess , with the Casino hotel never handing a change of names in rooms before , but soon resolved . ( tag line for the hotel .. 'How Vegas Used to Be' ie .. before the internet and cigarette smoke filters )
Day 1 finished with dinner in the casino cafe .. with various representations of Chinese dishes that looked like they had been as close to China as Truffle Dawg has been to a swing coach... hand out of the gear in the room with the modelling initially by the fine form of Lemur.. Arnold's course awaits us in the AM.
Skeet Repeat Slamma - T-7 days and player intros !
It's a week to go, and the Slamma stars are getting restless ... Speaking of which, we should introduce them !....
Here they are.. in no particular order...
Donald ‘The Murseless’ Dagenais - The leading points scorer in the VTGA tour over the winter. Plays better when he gets his hair cut
Michael ‘TruffleDawg’ Holland - The fugliest swing on the TGA Tour, but when he connects club on ball with an accelerating straight club face.. his swing can turn a score card into a SUB-36 nine holes as proven in '16
Duncan ‘Lemur’ Taylor - The best looking player of the bunch, but only in his own mind. Has the swing of a god. an extinct god wrapped in bandages and buried for 2000 years.
Glenn ‘Gazebo’ Eady - leader of the VTGA Tour this winter, which was quite stunning given his lack of organising anything ever before, but we love him, and his tee shots with his putter.
Norman ‘Roofer’ Mackay - Joining us from his new home in the windy city, Roofer has perhaps THE prettiest swing on the TGA tour... until he addresses the ball and tries to hit it, then all hell breaks loose, and local house insurance costs go up.
Richard ‘Grand-Par’ Bosworth - Joining us from the UK, this one time regular on the TGA Tour has been absent for a couple of years, and was last heard swearing repeatedly on the tee at the Road Hole in St Andrews, site of the Slamma before last. Has no clue how to keep in touch with his buddies, but for some reason we keep inviting him back.
Dave ‘Papa Hicks’ Vijh - Has the ideal brain for playing golf. hes tall, cool , calm a collected, and you can tell he's pissed off when one eyebrow is higher up than the other. apart from that you'd never know. unfortunately his brain is quite disconnected from his torso.
Martin 'Grand Banane' Geary - Battling with Truffle for the ugly swing crown, this Slamma virgin is only coming on the trip after EXTENSIVE pressure from his team mates. Little does he know that we only invited him to even out the room costs.
Mark 'Snowflake' Randolph - Thsi man IS "The most interesting man on the TGA Tour" . He doesn't always buy putters, but when he does, he pays $1100 bucks for it.. and then wants another...
Matthew 'Three-way, Miss?' Couture - Our second Slamma vigin, and the only member of the tour who plays with his private member at ROYAL Montreal Golf Club. He's scraping the bottom of the golfing barrel and gracing us with his presence. PRETTY swing, no idea how to square his club face.. such a shame.. hehe....
So there you have it.. 10 reprobates if ever you saw them. Look out for their exploits on the links in Mesquite , Nevada a week from today!
Here they are.. in no particular order...
Donald ‘The Murseless’ Dagenais - The leading points scorer in the VTGA tour over the winter. Plays better when he gets his hair cut
Michael ‘TruffleDawg’ Holland - The fugliest swing on the TGA Tour, but when he connects club on ball with an accelerating straight club face.. his swing can turn a score card into a SUB-36 nine holes as proven in '16
Duncan ‘Lemur’ Taylor - The best looking player of the bunch, but only in his own mind. Has the swing of a god. an extinct god wrapped in bandages and buried for 2000 years.
Glenn ‘Gazebo’ Eady - leader of the VTGA Tour this winter, which was quite stunning given his lack of organising anything ever before, but we love him, and his tee shots with his putter.
Norman ‘Roofer’ Mackay - Joining us from his new home in the windy city, Roofer has perhaps THE prettiest swing on the TGA tour... until he addresses the ball and tries to hit it, then all hell breaks loose, and local house insurance costs go up.
Richard ‘Grand-Par’ Bosworth - Joining us from the UK, this one time regular on the TGA Tour has been absent for a couple of years, and was last heard swearing repeatedly on the tee at the Road Hole in St Andrews, site of the Slamma before last. Has no clue how to keep in touch with his buddies, but for some reason we keep inviting him back.
Dave ‘Papa Hicks’ Vijh - Has the ideal brain for playing golf. hes tall, cool , calm a collected, and you can tell he's pissed off when one eyebrow is higher up than the other. apart from that you'd never know. unfortunately his brain is quite disconnected from his torso.
Martin 'Grand Banane' Geary - Battling with Truffle for the ugly swing crown, this Slamma virgin is only coming on the trip after EXTENSIVE pressure from his team mates. Little does he know that we only invited him to even out the room costs.
Mark 'Snowflake' Randolph - Thsi man IS "The most interesting man on the TGA Tour" . He doesn't always buy putters, but when he does, he pays $1100 bucks for it.. and then wants another...
Matthew 'Three-way, Miss?' Couture - Our second Slamma vigin, and the only member of the tour who plays with his private member at ROYAL Montreal Golf Club. He's scraping the bottom of the golfing barrel and gracing us with his presence. PRETTY swing, no idea how to square his club face.. such a shame.. hehe....
So there you have it.. 10 reprobates if ever you saw them. Look out for their exploits on the links in Mesquite , Nevada a week from today!
VTGA Tour - Week 15
· -10 points to Gazebo for a Steve Harvey moment
· From now on, -5 points to everyone who shows up late !!
· -5 points to anyone who has to leave early.
· That’s right, Gazebo didn’t get any last night.
· Murseless and Grand Banane were occupying a 3rd screen last week. Points are all messed up.
· Mursless with a new VTGA Tour record 76 Gross !!
· Gonna have to find out what the NET record is.
· Marty moves up 2 on the VTGA season long Leaderboard
· We are 8 this week so I’ll try to book another sim but he is crazy busy lately. Let’s hope otherwise we are in for a long night.
All-Time GROSS Record Donald 76
All-Time NET Record Dincan 62 (Never be broken because he’s a sandbagging MotherF&*$8er)
Yes, Dincan is a typo but I liked it.
Whack n’ Hack (stroke play)
Hole 1 MissGazogie 9 TruPaMur 9 Grandless 10
Hole 2 MissGazogie 10 TruPaMur 12 Grandless 10
Hole 3 MissGazogie 13 TruPaMur 14 Grandless 12
Hole 4 MissGazogie 10 TruPaMur 8 Grandless 9
Hole 5 MissGazogie 7 TruPaMur 6 Grandless 8
Hole 6 MissGazogie 13 TruPaMur 11 Grandless 14
Hole 7 MissGazogie 7 TruPaMur 7 Grandless 10
Hole 8 MissGazogie 10 TruPaMur 12 Grandless 9
Hole 9 MissGazogie 11 TruPaMur 9 Grandless 9
Out 90 88 91
Hole 10 MissGazogie 11 TruPaMur 12 Grandless 13
Hole 11 MissGazogie 10 TruPaMur 14 Grandless 11
Hole 12 MissGazogie 11 TruPaMur 9 Grandless 10
Hole 13 MissGazogie 11 TruPaMur 10 Grandless 9
Hole 14 MissGazogie 11 TruPaMur 17 Grandless 9
Hole 15 MissGazogie 8 TruPaMur 17 Grandless 6
Hole 16 MissGazogie 11 TruPaMur 11 Grandless 10
Hole 17 MissGazogie 11 TruPaMur 15 Grandless 13
Hole 18 MissGazogie 13 TruPaMur 12 Grandless 11
In 97 117 92
Total 187 205 183
Points scoring…
Gross Net Points
Donald 76 65 30 + 10
Duncan 86 68 25
Glenn 89 70 18 + 5 - 10
Matt 96 76 15 + 5
Marty 107 76 12 +10
Dave 95 79 10
Michael 117 101 8
Brian DNF DNF 6 + 5
OVERALL
Donald 323
Glenn 275
Michael 234
Duncan 217
Matt 196
Norman 128
Marty 147 Up 2
Scott 126 Down 1
Chris 61 Down 1
Ank 55
Donald’s siblings 50
Song 47
Dave 38 Up 1
Ed 31 Down 1
Brian 11
VTGA Tour - Week 14
Sorry for the late email, hectic week.
· PGA National was the scene, for anyone who hasn’t been, this is the place you want to be seen, hitting balls onto the green.
· VTGA debut of Stogie (Brian Crystal), man knows how to drive a golf ball…too bad he can’t pitch or chip.
· 2 weeks in a row for Papa Hicks, gearing up for the Slamma in Mesquite
· Michael….shaking head emoji, nice stretch of holes 12,12,6,12
· Murseless needs to cut his hair or he will be assessed a 20 point penalty and we’ll change his name to Sideshow Don !!!!!
· The wall is back on track this week (still don’t know why you picked that nick name)
· Matt was on fire until his scores counted, since then he has been a sand bagging machine. Nice strategy for Mesquite.
· Stogie shot a 58 !!! Too bad he only played 11 holes
· New VTGA Tour Leader !!!
Week 15 this Sunday at 6pm. What I have so far..(Dunno’s, please lemenno)
IN
Glenn
Donald
Duncan
Dave
Marty
Michael
Ank
Brian
OUT
Scott
Matt
DUNNO
Ed
Song
Chris
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