30th October - Atlantide "TGI Friday"

Lemur (dials Papa Hicks)
Mrs Hicks: Hello?
Lemur: Hi Cheryl its Duncan!
Mrs Hicks: Hi Duncan!
Lemur: Has [Papa Hicks] left for the course yet?
Mrs Hicks WHAT COURSE ????!!!!!

Evidently Papa Hicks was counting on the Mrs leaving the house at 8am leaving Papa free to head to the course for an all day "Business Meeting". Unfortunatly she left late, and Lemur sank him right into the dog house... ah well.. such is life..

Papa, Lemur, Alice and Dagenator head to Atlantide for a late Autunm 36 hole spectacular day. Alice and Lemur committed to 36 holes, with Dag and Papa on a 'maybe'. Lemur starts the round with his phone attached to his ear, and scores Trple , Double, Double. Phones and golf don't mix.

The chaps have an excellent round in the morning, and Lemur and Alice only have to mention the afternoon round and Papa and Dag are in. Don Quichotte is the course of the the afternoon, and the birdies start to rack up nicely.

The quote of the afternoon comes on the 6th hole island green, where Dagenator finds the claws os sea-crustacians on the edge of the green, and enthusiastically declares....

"My Minge has CRABS!!". Nothing that a few pills, a shave and some ointment wouldn't put right mr Dagenator.. Must have brought a dose back from Oz!

October 25th - Ile De Montreal

Alice, Grand-par and Harry Putter head to the east end on the better of the two days TGA weekend. The three fellows suffer from a bad case of wind unfortunately, but still had fun. Dont see many scores being posted on OOB.. hmm perhaps the 84 Alice scored was for the front nine !

October 24th - Atlantide

The Return of The Dagenator !!! Dagenator rejoins the Tour after a brief spell down under, and joins Lemur and Papa Hicks on the course. Plays like an arse, but we forgive the poor chap. Actually wasnt that bad, but he wasn't a happy chap for much of the round.. nice hat though!. And it hardly rained despite the forecast!..

October 18th - The Falcon

OK.. I can't remember much about the round.. other than we were delayed by over an hour.. but a nice fellow gave us coffee in the presigeous club house.. No. seriusly.. they HAVE started work on the clubhouse behond digging a hole.. there is ACTAULLY some foundation poured in there, with steel reinforcement!.. Lemur , Papa Hicks and Alice braved the morning chill, and had a gorgeous round of golf. A few shankapotumous from Lemur, but finished quite well. Alice the usual well-played self, and Papa with a shining example of game improvement throughout the year, until someone reminds him of it, and he f*(ks up.

October 12th - Riviere Rouge

Crack announced on the 10th that this would be his last game of the year, so he must be on some alternate calendar then, as he's on the first tee at Riviere Rouge ready for battle once more. Gazebo makes his first Fall series appearance having announced that "I'd like to play golf today" and Alice.. never one to pass up a game, joins Lemur in making up the foursome. Frost delay sends the pros to the club house for early breakfast, then the range to play with some frosty balls, then eventually onto the first tee. Alice is not in great shape, with the frost delay eating into his time allowed out. His clubs will turn into a pumpkin at noon ! Gazeb ohas a new course management strategy (yes a new one !!!). Nothing worse than a 6 !> After doing very well to maintain it for a large part of the round, he breaks double figures on the par 5 14th. Back to the earlier par 5, Lemur plays a text book par 5, good drive.. long second to just short of the green, chip onto the green hitting the flag leaving himself a tap-in birdie. Alice also reads from the text book... of farming a lumberjack skills.. a drive that finds trees on the right, and finds its way out. His second great shot leaves him 5 yards short of the green, with a tree almost as high in his way. Here produces one of the shots of the year, with an open club face, he swipes the ball with ease, with the only danger being the ball catching his nose on its way skyward. it clears the tree and lands on the green about 10 feet away. The rest is history... IS THERE NO JUSTICE???

Alice has to depart after 9.. Gazebo breaks 100 with his new found skills, and Lemur sneaks below 80 !. not sure of Cracks score, but he doesn't score too well on the botty burps either. Gazebo's statement of Cracks ability in this department seems unfounded, with neither a middle nor an end to be heard this morning. It must be the fast food he's been putting away since Mrs Crack is out of town. Normal service resumes next week we hope!.

October 10th - Le Versant

Crack, Alice, Lemur and Papa Hicks head into the TGA Tour Fall Series with unwavering enthusiasm! Lemur and papa Hicks decide to take the long route, getting lost in deepest East Laval and extending their journey time by about 20 minutes eating into valuable practice time. Its shows on the course.. Alice and Crack take an early lead, and before Lemur has time to say "Can we change teams please" , he and Papa Hicks are 6 holes down !. Papa Hicks is wishing Lemur had brought his game as well as his clubs, and Crack is thanking his lucky stars that Alice 'That's not right' logo is doing exactly that.. the ball isn't going right at all!.. dead straight.. long.. and Alice finds himself in an unusual place.. playing from the left hand side of a fairway!. Lemur continues his shocking performance, including taking a well played 5 on the short par 13th, after a blistering drive, he shanks his sand wedge into the trees. only thanks to the pocket chainsaw he brought along does the ball find its way out, then a chip and his first putt of the day from outside 3 feet going in saved bogey. The rest of the TGA stars are hoping Alice buys a new putter over the winter. He's too good with this old one. with only 13 putts on the front, his back 9 looked to be more challenging with an early 3-putt, but no!.. a series of one-putts on the back sees him matching the front 9, culminating in a ridiculous 20 foot putt breaking right downhill on the 18th green has Papa Hicks reaching for the barf bag, Crack reaching for his gun, and Lemur reaching for his wallet.. his only redemption being a brace of birdies when the match had long since been lost (not a team player!)

October 4th - Epicor Retail Perspectives - Ile De Montreal

No TGA Tour event this week. However, Lemur and Alice are looking looked after some Epicor parters and clients at the Ile De Montreal 'Ile' course. Visitors from Scotland, Australia as well as closer to home. An excellent course and definitely an addition to the TGA Tour for next year. Four Man Scramble/Vegas was the format, so no individual scores posted. Alice played quite well, Lemur didn't.

Also, whenever Epicor gets mentioned on the web, our Marketing team in Irvine gets a note from Google Alerts. (Hi Celia!)